What are we actually looking for online?

Consumption of week 18

My latest mood is the need to lay down in the grass and read a couple of chapters with the sun behind my book. Nothing else, just an interesting book and the sun warming my body. Surprisingly, I remember when this habit was a part of my daily routine, now time seems to slip away. Currently it seems that we need to schedule in our agenda when we are going to enjoy our own company and the small habits we used to enjoy before. So today I blocked my agenda after work to do exactly that, nothing else.

This past week, my partner arrived home and said: “Let’s watch an old movie, the ones that are super slow”. I thought it was interesting that we cannot rely on the current media to consume something less upbeat. It seems that the act of decompressing cannot be done the same way with our current media, since it appears to be too fast for our own liking. Sometimes a movie from the 80s does wonders on a Friday night to feel completely relaxed and more present in the moment.

source: Pinterest

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Personally, these last couple of weeks have been a time of reset, again. I use the word "again” because resets are just a way of realigning with what may have become too blurry to focus in our routine. Journaling of course has been very present between these times, but mostly focusing on only one media at a time. These couple of years I have been a really good active reader, according to my Goodreads, but it seems that I became unfocused at the beginning of 2026. This week, during my lunchtime from my corporate job, I went to a bookshop in the train station without expectations and bought a book that sounded interesting enough to get me out of the rut. I ended up reading “Audition" by Katie Kitamura which turned out to be a lovely novel and it was shortlisted for the 2025 Booker Prize.

Something to take note of is: I moved apartments in the last couple of weeks and since then our internet connection hasn’t been the greatest in the new space, so analogue media has been my main consumption. The big difference I have experienced is that time seems to slow down when you consume with analogue objects. This consumption seems to give you ownership of your attention and time, by deciding what to interact with, but mostly consuming with a purpose. I cannot tell you how many nights I end up scrolling in my phone and feeling exhausted when it’s time to turn off the lights. This unhealthy habit sometimes even transfers to my dreams, with topics I was bombarded with minutes before closing my eyes. Now that the internet seems to be more available, I find myself missing when it wasn’t. The dynamic of the space and free time has changed completely when those type of distractions are just one click away, so I now try to force myself to think and consider before going to start an endless scroll on social media.

The big question here is: what are we looking for there? Have we ever felt that we found it after one or two hours? And why does our brain decide to continue with this habit even though we may feel horrible after it? My conclusion is: we are all addicted to this drug called scrolling or our phones.

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source: Pinterest

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Just to clarify those who are reading this, I am not ditching my television or smartphone, but identifying changes that need to be made, which is always an improvement. I struggle with feeling productive while consuming online content all the time, something that reflects on my own self-perception, as I aim to feel fulfilled with my actions. Of course laziness and unproductively are important parts of our weekly routine, but the more at peace I feel with what I consume or the way I consume it, the better I feel about myself. Productivity, in this sense, means that I have not abandoned myself to scrolling, as I previously did. Boredom is super important to experience and the moment we are never bored, for me that is a red flag in my own living.

So here is what I did instead of scrolling or watching TV:

• Journaling (to do lists, manifestation, journal entries, drawings)

• Sent some postcards

• Read a book

• Tried a new recipe

• Paint-by-numbers (new hobby alert!)

• Arranged my clothes and made a selection

• Started a new furniture renovation project

• Listened to a podcast with full attention

• Went biking

• Played beach volleyball with friends

• Played UNO

At the end of the day, what we consume will affect how we practice our creativity and we may be neglecting the best part of our selves for an endless page. I write this as a reminder for those who need it to click away from their phone or screens and pick up a hobby/habit that does not include this addiction that consumes us slowly everyday. I will also keep challenging myself on this so hopefully my creativity improves along the way.

All the best,

T.